So, I've been doing a little soul searching for a while, and from all of it, I've learned that, for myself, in all this searching, I've been searching for all ways to not go for my true love... music. For pretty much all of my life, I've loved to perform. When I was little I used to turn my radio up when my favorite songs came up, and just sang and danced until my parents came in and made me turn it down. I'd do the same when it came to videos on MTV, VH1 and CMT. I'd post pictures on the wall from BOP and BIG BOPPER magazine and pretend they were my audience. It's silly, but it made me happy. That's pretty much how I still am today, minus the posters.
I absolutely LOVE music. Some of my favorite musicians/bands are The Red Hot Chili Peppers, The Foo Fighters, Nirvana, John Frusciante, Miranda Lambert, Loretta Lynn, Bob Dylan, and on and on. I could make a list for days. I love all genres it doesn't matter. Whatever mood I'm in is what I listen to. Music is truly soul changing. It can pick you up when you're down, make you relive memories you'd since forgetten with time, and give you inspiration in a time of loss. It touches the heart in so many different ways. I have no idea what I'd do without music.
I've been fiddling with my guitar, Charlie, for about 5 years now, writing a few lyrics down here and there. But, I've never done anything with them except write them down and try to make the lyrics into something. In all honesty, I've been scared and intimitated by all of the great musicians out there. It's as if they were hand picked to have these great abilities to create music! I tend to think too deep into what I do, and it makes it that much harder actually do it. I start thinking, "I'm too old to this. These people are really good, and what do I have to compare?" And, as I get older, I'm starting to battle between conforming and continuing to chase my dreams. Life would just be so much easier if we just conformed and followed the rules of "This is what you're suppose to do at this age, and forget these foolish dreams, and settle." But, the more I deny my what I want to do most, the more depressed and separated I get. I can't do it... So, I don't...and just continue on with other things that just keep me from my actually doing it.....Until now.
I'm over being scared that I can't do. I have always believed that the impossible is always possible, if you just do it. So, I've started taking my writing more seriously, and I've started playing at open mics. It's been a couple of weeks since I've last been to one. But, only because I wanted to start playing my own material. I'm going to be heading back out in the next couple of weeks. I'm learning different ways to record my music w/out having to go into a big studio, and how to be more comfortable w/ Charlie and trust in my soul. I'm still working a 9-5 job to pay bills, but I know that to make things happen I have to make the change.
I wanted to post this today because I know I'm not the only one who's scared to make the change and go for what I want. It's scary to put yourself out there, I know. But if we just put a little more faith in ourselves, we can do it. Let's jump into the deep end, and learn to swim! The people that have come before us have proven to us that we can triumph over the to worst any situation.... Did you know that Dave Grohl, the lead singer of the Foo Fighers, was homeless when he signed on as the drummer for Nirvana? Whatever we want to do, we can do it, we've just got to do it!
So, I make this promise, and I ask you to join with me. That each day, we will do at least 2 or 3 things, not just 1, that will bring us closer to making our dream a reality. Whether you want to be an actress/actor, musican, lawyer...whatever your dream may be, remember to keep fighting for it. We are worth it.